How to Use your Fears to your Advantage

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Miracles Happen when you

give as much energy to

your Dreams as you do to

your fears.

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Fear, that nasty little Demon that whispers in our ear that “we can’t do that” or “we aren’t good enough for that”. The Fight or Flight response that our bodies face when we are scared or nervous. Fear can do one of 2 things: motivate & energize us or paralyze and trap us. It’s ok to be afraid, it keeps us safe, but trust me, your entire body will let you know when something isn’t right or isn’t safe. NEVER EVER go against your gut feeling if you suddenly get an overwhelming sense of dread or urge to run away, that will keep you safe. But for the most part we create fear in our minds, we work ourselves up in to an anxiety-ridden state of mind where we can’t focus and we can’t work or live to our full potential. We get a bad migraine that won’t go away for a few days and we get on Google and look for an answer, but Google gives you the worst-case-Scenario: you have a headache… you’re dying, get to emergency! What does that search result do… freaks you out even more and the cycle of fear and anxiety continues.

Irrational fears keep us from achieving our goals and dreams, they keep us locked up afraid to strike out and afraid to fail; fear of being judged, of looking stupid – you’ll never look stupid by trying and taking a leap of faith. We’re so afraid to fail but it’s through our failures that we learn, succeed and grow as people.

So use your fear, because you can be damn sure that if it scares you (not in a “danger” way) then it’s worth doing. or do you want to sit around resting on your laurels, comfortable staying in one place and never moving forward towards your dreams and goals. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that, really, nobody wants to stay stagnant.

For example: Personally, I never thought of starting a blog, that would have been a terrifying idea for me 3 years ago, opening myself up to The Internet, the Trolls and the Criticism. I’ve been called “Ugly”, “Stupid”, “Worthless”, and 2 years ago, I’d had enough of trying to be invisible and not do what I enjoyed because of the fear of judgement; I’d been bullied and I figured, “hey, why the hell not start that blog I’ve been thinking about, it might be fun.” I didn’t expect that my blogging would open up new avenues that I’d never thought about exploring before, networking and connecting with other Awesome Women with similar interests and goals. It gives my Husband an opportunity to watch the Hockey in Peace as well (Go Canucks Go!… don’t hate me for that one!).

It seems odd to me now, that the idea of writing about style and lifestyle on the internet would have originally made me nervous, especially since I wanted to be an Actress, I have a Degree in Acting from London and I’m quite comfortable and content to get up on stage in front of a room full of people and belt out a sad solo song from Fiddler on The Roof (I played the Middle Sister Hodel in my College Production of Fiddler) I’m quite at ease standing and reciting Shakespeare in a London Drama School Audition but being MYSELF in front of people, now that was a scary thought. But that fear, it’s just a mind-game, it’s that little voice of telling you that you’re not good enough, people won’t like you. You know what: “bugger off Fear!”As my Best Friend said the first time I saw her outside of work in Whistler and she hit the replay button on Avril Lavigne “Hot”… “I Do What I Want!” Which is what you should do, use those Fears to push you forward and help you grow, because it’s better than staying in a comfortable rut.

Photos taken by Jenna Lynn Photography

Skirt | Sweater | Necklace | Shoes

Go For Your Goals, otherwise Life can get really dull.

Take Care

xoxo Ellie

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44 Comments

  1. robin masshole mommy
    March 15, 2017 / 7:23 am

    I have been working on teaching my kids to face their fears head on. This is great advice.

  2. March 15, 2017 / 7:23 am

    I am HORRIBLE about googling symptoms. Which is surprising because you would think that with a husband in medical school and a father physician, I could just go to one of them!

  3. March 15, 2017 / 7:38 am

    I had to ban myself from Googling symptoms because I was always convinced I had some horrible illness, lol. This is such a great post and reminds me of myself. I let fear hold me back in the early years of blogging, I was so afraid of what people would say. I rarely told me in my personal life about my blog. But a few years later, I’ve met so many wonderful new friends and had so much support from the blog community, it’s been such a positive experience.

    Brooke
    Pumps & Push-Ups

  4. March 15, 2017 / 8:18 am

    Really enjoyed this, such a good reminder that we have to push through the fears that can hold us back. One of my mantrs this year is if it scares me/ feels uncomfortable to go for it! Thanks for the mid week inspiration.
    Also- Canucks fan- are you in BC???

  5. March 15, 2017 / 8:20 am

    Beautiful post. I think a lot of us met fear get the best of us. Rising up is half the battle.

  6. March 15, 2017 / 8:29 am

    This is really good! I recently heard the phrase “do it scared,” and I think that’s really true! Sometimes, you just have to take your fear and do it anyway!

  7. March 15, 2017 / 9:07 am

    What a great post about how fears can also help us. I loved reading about your own experience in this situation.

  8. March 15, 2017 / 10:29 am

    Loved this – thanks for your honesty! I just started a new fitness program that is more whole-life-encompassing and not just diet & workouts, and one of their ‘quests’ is to use 20 seconds of courage. For whatever it may be, remind yourself that you just need to be brave for the 20 seconds it takes to make the leap, and then you’re there! Love it!

    -Clarissa @ The View From Here

  9. March 15, 2017 / 10:49 am

    First, I am IN LOVE with that pink skirt! Now that is out of the way, I think we need to meet fears head on and use them to fuel our ambition. I am one who fears change, but I use that to fuel me and I know that change can be good.

  10. March 15, 2017 / 11:42 am

    Loving your advice so much! I need to use my fears to fuel me a little bit more! Also, in love with your skirt!

    xo Rachel | http://www.thesassroom.com

  11. Victoria Schneider
    March 15, 2017 / 11:56 am

    Love how you are always sharing from your heart and lifting people up. This is so lovely!
    Victoria | http://www.thesoutherntrunk.com

  12. March 15, 2017 / 12:22 pm

    Such an inspiring post! You’re so right about Google being overused for a lot of ‘what ifs’ and that’s a scary thing in itself. Fear is good but overcoming your fears is even better! Beautiful words!

    xox,
    Kristin
    http://www.amidwesternmix.com

  13. March 15, 2017 / 1:23 pm

    This was a great reminder that while fear in a biological sense does have a purpose, it shouldn’t always be the reason you never try. Love that skirt, too!

  14. March 15, 2017 / 1:55 pm

    Fear is definitely a big obstacle. I am getting ready to move to self-employment, fear is what took me this long to make the move. PS Love the outfit!

  15. Virjinia
    March 15, 2017 / 1:58 pm

    I love this! I used to be so brave as a child and just did my own dang thing. I lost all my courage as a teenage but now I feel like I’m coming into my own. I use fear to motivate me to be stronger!

  16. March 15, 2017 / 3:03 pm

    Great post! For me starting a blog was scary. I’ve only been at it for about 2 months.

  17. featherflint
    March 15, 2017 / 3:10 pm

    First – I N-E-E-D this skirt!! I’ve been looking for the perfect tulle skirt for literally years – this might be the one! Second – totally agree with you that it’s a balance between listening to your body’s fear signals telling you “DO NOT GO IN THE BASEMENT” and overcoming your nerves to do something that you really want to do!

  18. March 15, 2017 / 4:56 pm

    Hey fellow Vancouverite! It’s so important to follow our dreams no matter how scary. You look gorgeous in that beautiful tulle skirt!

    Maria | http://finastyleblog.com

  19. March 15, 2017 / 6:08 pm

    I literally just googled some symptoms. Facing your fears and using them to your advantage definitely needs to be my mantra!

  20. Elizabeth O.
    March 15, 2017 / 7:11 pm

    It’s really important that we try our best to overcome our fears, because it will really get in the way of our success. I usually try to trick my mind and see it as a challenge that I need to accomplish!

  21. March 15, 2017 / 7:16 pm

    You’ll never know unless you try and if you let fear take over your goals then you’re just going to be stuck where you are, never trying things and never risking. I think it’s a good idea, to make use of your fear and jumpstart your journey to reaching your goals in life.

  22. lovelysilvia
    March 15, 2017 / 10:07 pm

    This is great advice! You should always push ahead of your fears because everyone can accomplish great things if they just push.

  23. March 15, 2017 / 10:13 pm

    Ellie, I loved reading this!! Seriously it made my day. We all have fears, but your positive outlook on how to look at them was really great. I think my favorite part was about if it doesn’t scare you, and don’t settle for being a comfortable rut!! By the way I know you know this, but your beautiful!! It’s so cool you were in Fiddler on the Roof. That’s my favorite to watch when I’m sick. I’ve watched it a few hundred times. 🙂
    Angela

    • March 16, 2017 / 7:50 am

      Aww thank you so much Angela! I’m so glad that you found this post helpful! It’s so easy to let our fears hold us back but often if I am nervous about doing something I just count down from 5 to 1 and then stand up and go do whatever it is. Fiddler on the Roof is always a good one to watch! 🙂

  24. March 15, 2017 / 10:54 pm

    I admit that I still look for google things if I don’t know what’s wrong. I know it can lead me to some very bad conclusions but then you can get doctors to rule them out for you. After dealing with medical people before it’s imperative to keep up with your own health needs.

  25. March 16, 2017 / 7:06 am

    I have learned the older I get the less fears I have!! I love this outfit and agree you should press on!!

  26. March 16, 2017 / 9:46 am

    So inspiring! Definitely worth it to step outside of your comfort zone <3

  27. March 16, 2017 / 9:46 am

    I used to just be fearful. But as I have gotten older, I have definitely used it as motivation to kick some serious butt! This is definitely a LEARNED thing… And it doesn’t happen over night, that’s for sure!

  28. annalisanuttall
    March 16, 2017 / 1:36 pm

    Beautiful pink skirt. The older I get the more I fearful of EVERYTHING on this planet. i’m a bloody nightmare. Just ask my husband. Fearful for going out, fearful of summer days. You get the picture. you and I need to conquer our fear. xx

  29. March 16, 2017 / 2:00 pm

    wow girl you are just amazing, I love your personality; you are born to write! I can hear you speak through your letters. Dont let nothing stop you, because you are born to shine as you do right now. This is why you exist, to motivate others to get out of the confort zone, and start doing what they are the best at. Thanks so much for sharing with us.

  30. March 16, 2017 / 8:10 pm

    I love your necklace! 🙂 What a great reminder as well. I love that you incorporate positivity and fashion!

  31. March 17, 2017 / 1:38 am

    As an adult you have a lot more choice of who you surround yourself with, which makes things easier. Surround yourself by good people and if they put you down, don’t spend time with them.

  32. dearlydainty
    March 17, 2017 / 5:58 pm

    Great post! When I first read “giving fear your energy”, I read it as using my energy to overcome your fears. I’m really glad you decided to ignore the bummed and start your blog because putting yourself out there for the world to judge is tough.

  33. March 17, 2017 / 8:51 pm

    Thanks for sharing your story. Inspiration article. I find fear to be an obstacle but I always try not to let it pull me down.

  34. March 21, 2017 / 6:59 am

    I totally understand where you are coming from. Fear and any tight situation helps push us to our limits. We discover something new about ourselves and we become better. At the end of the day, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. 🙂

  35. March 21, 2017 / 8:01 am

    Great read! I definitely let my fears get the best of me and having two boys have made it my personal goal to do my best to not let my fears get in the way of my dreams. Trying to lead by example can be hard!

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